My Last Homemade Breakfast Sandwich
Sunday 8 November 2015 — Category: Cooking & Food
A couple of months ago I recounted an unsuccessful attempt to make a killer breakfast sandwich — see A Duck Egg Aioli Breakfast Sandwich for all the dismal details. At the end of that article, I had vowed that the next time I wanted a breakfast sandwich, I would absolutely be stopping by McDonald’s for their awesome Sausage McMuffin with Egg with hash browns.
About a month later, insanity returned and I broke my vow. Somehow, I decided to give a homemade breakfast sandwich one last try. But things did not go well from beginning to end!
Shortly before this episode, my wife had bought some farm-fresh jumbo chicken eggs at the local farmers’ market. We usually don’t have such big eggs, but still, they seemed smaller than the dozen ducks eggs I had previously purchased. And the duck eggs had worked fine with my new egg poacher pan.
In preparation for making my breakfast sandwich, I had cracked a jumbo chicken egg into a small glass bowl. But when I poured the egg into a individual poaching cup, there was too much egg, and the whites started to overflow. Because most of the whites were a coagulated mass, once the whites started going over the edge, the whole mass went together. To my regret, I was doing this over the sink, so the glob of egg whites quickly and silently slipped down the drain, never to be seen again!
In the cup remained only a small quantity of liquidy whites. I was horrified and frustrated by this sudden turn of events. What’s the point of using a jumbo egg if half of it slides down the drain? What was left in the cup was barely the contents of even a small egg!
So I tried it again, with a second jumbo egg. But this time I poured the egg into the cup over the counter instead of over the sink, with a paper towel handy to wipe up any spills.
And do you know what? The exact same thing happened again! About half of the egg whites went right over the edge of the cup! But rather than losing them to the drain, this time they were mostly soaked up by the paper towel. However, the results were the same: a large part of that egg’s whites were suddenly gone.
I just couldn’t believe it! The same stupid mistake twice in a row! Sheesh! In order to salvage my breakfast, I added some whites from the first egg to the second egg, so that the poaching cup was pretty full. Then I proceeded to prepare the rest of my sandwich.
I fried a sausage patty in a cast-iron skillet, I grated some Tillamook sharp cheddar cheese, and a toasted a piece of Big River sourdough bread. These are all favorite foods in their classes which I have enjoyed innumerable times.
Then I put it all together into an open-face sandwich, with an Ore-Ida shredded hash brown patty on the side. Unfortunately, the total taste was somehow less than the wonderful taste of each individual item. Even the hash browns were not that great, and nowhere near the awesome hash browns at McDonald’s.
Rather than trying to assemble a sandwich, I would have been better off having each piece of food separate on the plate, and giving my attention to each one individually. Even better, I should have simply driven the 3.2 miles to McDonald’s and ordered their unsurpassed Sausage McMuffin with Egg and hash browns. Why settle for second best?
Didn’t I make that vow before? OK, I really screwed up by not sticking to it this time, but now I’ve learned my lesson. Once again, the gourmet chef wannabe is not ready for prime time. So, the next time I want to break my fast with a sandwich, it is either McDonald’s or else continue to fast!
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